But Time Crisis 4 and Deadstorm Pirates are worth talking about. To call it a game in the first place seems anathema to the very definition of a game. It's not a game worth buying, and it's not a game worth reviewing. So I'm not going to talk about Razing Storm.
And the controls are so out of sync with the game.- Attempting to move in a straight line will often leave your character jumping wildly around like he's tripping on LSD.
The visuals are overdone and super "awesome-ized", to the point that the environment looks to be composed of plastic, bubble wrap, and cooking spray. The sounds are repetitive and horrifyingly overbearing, such that you cannot take five steps without your AI teammates screeching cliché dialogue or without hearing the terrifying noise of shoddily recorded gunfire. The plot proceeds past "laughable", sprints through the land of "so bad, it's good", and sits firmly in "land where we take ourselves super serious despite the undeniable fact that we are sitting in crap". Each unfortunate aspect works in tandem with the other, dancing in a curious form of art that seems to spell "screw you" on the winds of a flatulant elephant. There is no singular flaw that spells failure for Razing Storm. If all there was a way to drink around the piss… When juxtaposed against the other two games, it feels as though someone pissed in a Red Bull and handed it to me. Describing, reliving its horror, is comparable to slowly sipping unleaded gasoline. It's just… the third game, the titular game that's the problem. I want to, I really do! It includes two awesome, epic games that mimic the arcade shooter experience perfectly – the health bar, the horrifying story, the addictive pick-up-and-play mechanics that are most certainly the key to draining your wallet. Which is why I want to give Time Crisis: Razing Storm an 'A+', a 100%, a super-kudos.
I can admit, with no small amount of shame, to wasting hundreds of quarters on these games. If it hasn't already become painfully clear, I am a huge fan of most on-rails arcade shooters, where you control nothing more than the shower of bullets.
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